a new woman

Well we headed back down to xray for our now daily radiation party this morning to do a swallow study to see if the tube was ready to come out.  Shawnie was a great sport about drinking the barium, probably because she had reached the point of delirious hunger pains that she could imagine it was just about anything.  It wouldn't go through the new part of the esophagus, it would just pool right above it unless she was lying on her left side, then it would trickle through, which was really weird. The radiologist was freaking out about it saying that she did not feel like the tube was ready to come out and that it looked extremely abnormal.  I about passed out on the floor from disappointment right there.  Shawnie was completely fighting back tears, but kept herself together as we headed back upstairs.  The doctors had been so positive that it was going to be fine, that we had let ourselves be hopeful as well.  About 45 minutes later, our surgeon called and all the nurses and techs came running in to tell us that they were going to let us take the tube out.  I talked to the doctor on the phone and he said the xrays looked beautiful.  I told him about the radiologist freaking out and he said she freaks out about everything.  He said we could start her on clear liquids today, so the nurses had a cherry slushie (at her personal request) waiting for her right after they pulled it out. She only made it through a few bites, though, and then had to take a break.  She's just been sipping small bits here and there all day and it's making her tummy feel pretty sick as it's trying to start working in its new form.  I have a feeling it's going to be pretty slow progress from here.  She tried to eat jello tonight and felt like it was stuck for a really long time afterwards.
They will not send her home like this because she is so frail and thin and is not getting her nutritional and caloric needs.  We'll have to either stay until she is at the point that she can intake what she needs, or there is talk of us taking home the TPN feedings with the pic line for a while. 
She was up a lot of the day today and we had more fun visitors that really helped to lift our spirits and pass the time.  She went on a couple of walks through the halls and kept running into people that she knows from all over the place, old nurses, summer camp friends...some of which, she didn't even know, they just remember her!  She is still really tired, but she has been like a new woman since they pulled out the tube.  Her spunky little soul is seeping back through her fatigue.  It's fun to see how she is so loved by everyone who gets the opportunity to work with her.  I love to see the influence that she has and the light that she shares with everyone around her, usually without even recognizing it.